Don't call it a Comeback - GOULETTTTT!!
Well, shit, what to say...............I SAVED THE DAY I GUESS...actually not really - I haven't posted on this damn site since June or July so I figured what better time the crappy ass present to start back into it. Alot of happenings all over the world and in my life since the last time I posted................OH YEAH, I turned 30, talk about an eye opener. It's kinda like the time when you sit in class and are thinking about what type of panties the girl next to you is wearing and how they would look under your bed and the teacher calls on you to participate in a class project that involves you coming up to the board "ummm, Ms. Pinkerton, I will take an F for the day and for the project, that actaully might improve my GPA, thank you." No, you never did that, damn, I have issues, but we all knew that.
Ok, first point, I'm out for my Bday with Jaime and some co-workers last Thursday and came across an observation - well 2 actually. 1. I can drink the fuck outta some beer, and 2. How many fuckin' front running fans there are in this world. I mean seriously, it is getting more humerous to wait till after a team wins a championship in professional sports and see all the "new" fans that appear than it is to see the guy at the gym who wears spandex shorts and a half tank top and swears he is not a FAG!! What the hell is with that - stick with a team, ride with them, don't jump ship because they haven't won or made some moves that you don't agree with - shit, i've been a Bears fan for years and can only claim 1 jubilant season, and I think I am even more of a fan (or obsessive cumpulsive) for them then ever, now - just ask my wife, dog and anyone else who visits the Patterson Complex on Sunday!!! Patriots fans, I mean c'mon - where the hell were you when they had the dude on the helmet looking like he was in prison about to get butt raped by Jethro?? Ohhhh, I get it, because they changed logos, changed stadiums and changed uniforms you think it is a different team, therefore metamorphing the equilibrium in the NFL giving you permission to be a Nut Rider - that should be a new TV show - all the fucking front running fans running around bragging about "thier squads", yet not knowing a God damn player other then the trendy ones...............here is a tip - EAT BALLS, GET A LIFE, AND QUIT LOOOKING FOR ACCEPTANCE AMONG THE OTHER FUCKBALLS who do the same thing.
Saw the funniest shit last weekend, it was the Will Ferrell DVD for his "best of" on Saturday night live - it is a must see - The Cheerleading, the Robert Goulet skit, The Devil w/ Garth Brooks skit - I SAID MY GUITAR IS OUT OF TUNE...............FRED'S SLACKS IS A WINNER!!! Utter comedy, I say.
Have you ever been to the point when you are so fucked up that it is literally hard to put words together to make a sentence. Last weekend I must have sounded like a freakin' cave man half the time struggling between breathing, not vomiting and trying to make out sentence fragments just to say "I'M SO FUCKING RIPPED!!" I think it came out as "AHHH, EEHHHHH, EERRR, OHHHH, MMROOOROFPAP" Which actually does translate into "im fucking ripped" , seriously, look it up!!!! You'd think by the age of 30 you would start to see more mellow parties and more mellow actions from drunken friends.....but no, I get my ping pong table snapped in half by Canter's rendition of WWE's Triple H's finishing move the Pedigree on his unsuspecting brother the Bogalino - not only that, but I had tile broken and my light stand written on!!! Oh yeah, and BT is now know as Capt. Fat Sparrow because of the date he had with my Sharpie at 3am in the morning - how's that eye patch Capt.??? You know you got someone good like that when you see them the next morning and their face is bright red and blotchy from scrubbing the absolute shit outta of it with outline's of black ink still on their face. Damn, do you ever really want to grow up, I guess we have to but seriously, wouldn't it be absolute comedy if you still did this same shit at like 70??? Except this time you would loosen the screws on someone's walker just to see them fucking bail the next day when they tried to get up and go to the counter to grab their arthritis pills that you switched with codine!!!!! Ok, I have a sick fucking mind.
"I'll have a Whiskey.......................and a Whiskey"
Eric Ocean
"Get out of my dreams............Get into my Car" Ok, for that I am officailly gay!!!!
